“The Lesson – Part 2”

This past week, my June Post “The Lesson” was put to the test. An old friend we hadn’t seen in 36 years resurfaced after many years of silence. We definitely had unfinished business which had left all of us wounded – things that were never really dealt properly in the past. We were then all unbelievers and didn’t really have much of a grid on how to deal with sticky situations. We left one another quite angry. The 3 of us seemed to spend much time together these years. He was a high school friend of my husband. When we returned to the US, we reconnected with him and being a musician we followed him places like the Pablo Casals Festival in Puerto Rico. 

It seems to me that anger is a hurtful thing that just covers our pain and we have never allowed that hurt to come to the surface and to be brought to the light. Sometimes it is just too painful to actually deal with past issues and we would rather keep it covered under a basket…letting our light shine only dimly and be ineffective, without power.

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Luke 8:16 “No one, when he has lit a lamp, covers it with a vessel or puts it under a bed, but sets it on a lampstand, that those who enter may see the light.”

The light of Christ will not shine from us if we are full of darkness. He wants to use a pure and clean vessel. God wants us to leave no stone unturned.

My husband and I felt we needed to forgive him for the very hard things that were done in the past and almost broke our marriage. We could have kept these root issues under the weed fabric and decline to look at them and see our friend… that would have kept things comfortable… not rocking the boat! But we felt we had to deal with the past in order for the three of us to be set free. Even though he came a long way to visit, we still had expectations he would verbally say he was sorry. It left us very disappointed to not hear apologies coming from him. His way of apologizing was to come here and talk with us – that was the best he could do. David and I have moved on and become Christians but our friend is in many ways still in the place we left him 36 years ago even though I think his heart has softened a little. We had told him before he came that seeing him was going to be really hard for us and unless he wanted to talk about the elephant in the living room, we would rather not see him. He was here for two hours and it was hard but we did what God asked us to do! We felt we had no choice! That was just a week ago and we are still recovering from getting all that stuff stirred up. We lost much sleep but I feel healing is getting deeper each day and my heart is softening.

Sometimes we ourselves need to forgive unconditionally, not expecting anything in return – a true gift of grace. For 36 years we have all lived with these issues in the darkness, now the covering has been removed and the roots pulled out. It actually doesn’t feel good to have to dirty your hands again with past issues, it feels vulnerable and raw, but now true healing can really take place. Our root system will get redesigned and life and health will flow again! Forgiveness is the key to freedom.




8 thoughts on ““The Lesson – Part 2”

  1. This is so moving, and so true. Forgiveness releases us and allows the healing to continue. You are quite courageous to face it after so many years, and to face the individual responsible even more so. Bless you, my friend.


  2. Hi Jeanne, the root work, down in the darkness, is so very hard. You and your husband were brave to do what most people avoid. And your friend, too, was brave in his own way. 36 years is a long time to carry a burden. I hope the lessening of this load helps to create more peace and better sleep going into the future!


  3. Susan, after he left it was real heavy on us both, not much sleep etc….real intense. It was such a troubled time in our lives 36 years ago. Yes it took his friend a lot of courage, but it looks like we might never hear from him again! He kind of ran away after 2 hours…couldn’t take it! There is no ending, no closure, it’s just weird. We did what God asked us to do this past week and I have to say that must have been one of the hardest things I have ever done. Lots of warfare surrounded that time and it still is quite an intense time. I appreciate your feedback and love always. Thank you for being you.


  4. I love how you listened to God and did what he asked even though it was so hard. Without doubt you will reap abundant blessings from that seed of forgiveness you have sown. I know what it takes to get to that place of forgiveness and at times it can be like every fibre in your body and mind is fighting against it. But I also know that over time forgiveness brings peace. That is freedom. So I wish you continued forgiveness, peace and the freedom to live your life free from that particular pain from the past.


  5. Thanks so much Carolyn. I feel worse since all this happened a few weeks ago and I know it’s part of the healing with feelings being brought up in order for emotions to be set free from the grasps of unforgiveness…sometimes that we don’t even know is there. Thank you for your compassionate heart…so beautiful to see! Did you notice, I am back to being me? It took a lot of going back and forth but now it’s clear…I cannot be someone else…it was just too weird.


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