Since my trip to Europe a few things have surfaced and some really tough things took place there. Towards the end of my trip my nephew’s wedding celebration took place. His dad, my brother died 3 years ago when he went with his wife to meet his son’s girlfriend in the UK, they lived in England. Jerome was my baby brother and that of course came as a total shock in my family. My brother was the only christian in the family and a strong believer, which really left me puzzled. He was the one praying for my siblings and their families! Since mom died in 07 my family had kind of scattered and there was very little connection between us all. He was killed almost instantly, his son who was getting married this May was driving and just got a bump on his head and his wife who was in the back of the car was ok. So to say the least this wedding was a loaded one!
This was just a big celebration for the French part of the family, the original wedding having taken place in England a few days earlier. That was in beautiful Beaujolais county outside and none of us were dressed warm enough for the occasion. I was tired from traveling and was kind of dreading the whole thing by now.
My youngest sister Agnes was silent the whole time I was in France and I wasn’t sure how seeing her was going to be. She just went through a divorce recently and has a new boyfriend who is going through a divorce also!!! They both have bitterness issues which often happens in broken marriages. It just isn’t a pretty picture.
Agnes you see is an artist as many of my siblings and very sensitive. She is very sick with Fibromyalgia and all sorts of other issues. She was on morphine at the wedding and really didn’t seem like herself and quite angry. She vaguely said hi to my husband and I which really surprised me. She always has been happy to see me as I live so far away. She hadn’t seen my husband in 7 years. She was also very tired. Her children are mostly estranged from her because she has spent time in mental institutions and is very fragile and they just don’t understand her. She has a son who was stabbed 40 times and lived through it! That is what threw her over the edge. She became paranoid and just flipped out. Her son is now a beautiful young man and seemed to be doing ok as far as I know, the only one communicating with her.
Here I am confronted with all these issues and feel all the vibes going on around me and I really don’t want anyone to get hurt. There is no food, just light appetizers which is not a very good thing, considering we are always hungry in my family! I am so tired from standing up, I feel like im going to collapse. Anyway I have a bright idea and run this by my closest sister Claire and she thinks it’s the best thing ever. Let’s go and have some pizza! So we say good bye to my sister Agnes who is outraged that we would be leaving so soon. We had been standing there for 3 ½ hours! She looks like she could bite our heads off! We leave without disturbing the party and do not say good bye to the wedding party not to make waves.
The next day I get a phone call from Agnes who was really rude and mean. She thought leaving the party was basically a crime. So we talk a few minutes and I couldn’t take the insults and just hung up on her. Not very delicate on my end but I just couldn’t take the abuse any longer. So I left France with this horrible knot in my stomach following this event.
A few weeks later I “heard” from Agnes through an email, she was still blaming me for everything…so unfair!
So I had to go to God in prayer and ask Him what this was all about…After going back and forth I finally got it. Agnes was hurt because we had all left her there and she felt abandoned by her 1 brother and 2 sisters. So I responded to the nasty email and addressed the issue. I asked for her forgiveness for abandoning her but what I did was justify myself after that! Not recommended!!!! Off went the email and a week or so later I received a worse one in response. I am not a good christian, I had enough energy to travel how come I didn’t have any energy for the wedding. I was cold and hungry…that one was right on! That was not pretty and made me cry! I felt like I had lost my sister for leaving a wedding early! One thing I learned there is when you ask for forgiveness don’t try to justify yourself for doing what you did!
So I went again to the Lord for help in my utter frustration. What next!