Why is it so hard to let my sister go?
Claire recently came to visit me here in Maine with her husband for a few days. She lives in France where I am from and since she left Maine a few days ago, I feel like half my heart is missing. We are not twins but we might as well be. We always went to school together and spent much time together when we grew up even though I had 6 other siblings. We are heart sisters and that’s the way family should be. We still just want to spend as much time as possible together. It’s been one of my greatest crosses to bear to have to live 3000 miles away from Claire. There are no other people who quite understand me like she does. I miss the free spirit and fun she is. We are miles apart but so close in spirit even though spiritually we believe in different things.
She came to visit us in the US in 1983 when my twins were born and we faced major trauma as Isabelle (one of the twins) was born very small (1Lb, 11Oz) and with congenital Hydrocephalus. It was one the most difficult things we ever had to deal with as a family – she had 6 surgeries in 5 years. Even though my father died two weeks after our twins were born and never met them, Claire happened to be here visiting and we were able to travel together to France with our 2 week old twin Julia for the funeral. She has always been there for me.
I thank God for Skype because we can still “see” each other on the internet and as we age, we are not too surprised by the way we look when we meet again in person. I try to not spend more than 2 years without seeing my siblings. The youngest one is now 58 and the oldest 70. I do not have the energy I used to have as I now have some physical issues.
I long to meet more real people who are not afraid to tell it like it is. Every time I go back there, I love how frank and real people are. People here say to me why don’t you go back to France? My answer is I have 3 daughters and I couldn’t bear to live so far away from them. A mother carries her children in her heart forever!
After almost 30 years Claire hadn’t been to my house in the US since this last visit. I was a nervous wreck before she arrived. Would she like the US – she might not like anything here because it is so different from France! We actually had an exceptional time together…couldn’t have worked much better! They loved Maine and we had a great time together. Sometimes our worst fears are totally unfounded! My husband and her husband got along great and the 4 of us were a real good match. We even celebrated our twins 30th Birthday which was extra special. My husband and I have no extended family here to ever celebrate anything with, so it was a real treat for all of us here!
I love how faithful God is even when we have no faith. I was crying all day after we left them at the airport. Living without my family here has been a real challenge over the past 38 years we have been in the US. I know that all things work together for good for those who love God and I have seen it happen over and over again but what do you do when your heart is broken and you know there is no place to take the pain except to God. In these raw times I need someone with flesh on.
“Every sunset brings the promise of a new dawn” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Even though the sun set that day, it came back the next day and the day after that and I have been fine. The transition is always tough at first and then we get used to being separate.
I have sometimes thought that not seeing my family would be easier than seeing them because it is always so tough to leave them. As I become older, I know that every year is another opportunity to get to know them better. Family is precious! We tend to push people away and think that it will leave us unscathed…but that’s just an illusion!
Unforgiveness can be deadly. it is important to reconcile and just love on people specially those closest to us. The thing that will always remain is love…